The other evening I got something in my eye. I guess it was early evening because I remember complaining to Leo as he got home from work, while I fussed with my eye. I couldn't see anything in the eye, and couldn't manage to get rid of it. I finally decided I would just go to bed and it would gone in the morning. Denial has alway worked so well for me. Ha! I slept a few hours and then began tossing and turning, alternating trying to ignore it, and trying to flush it out. Eventually I stomped downstairs and tried eye drops. Nothing. I took another shot at flushing it out and got it. I have no idea what it was, a little white goopy thing, but damn, it hurt like hell, and the relief I felt when I finally got it was akin to when Leo's huge head finally popped out me when he was born. Lord that child had a big head. As I patted my face dry, I went into the kitchen to get a drink of water and saw the clock, 4:58 am. I almost cried. I thought it was the middle of the night. I went back to bed as Ernie got up and finally got a few hours of sleep.
I'm trying to look at the whole thing as some kind of analogy or parable; something that feels huge to you at the time, and overwhelms you, turns out to be a tiny thing, and makes little difference to your life, only a short period of misery that fades away in daylight. So, I am looking for daylight to see clearly and see what the day will feel like without my grain of sand.
As some of you know, I am no longer at my job. I had taken several months off while I tried to figure out medical issues to no avail. I am working with another doctor now and am hopeful that I will find a solution. In the mean time, I am fine generally, just fighting exhaustion, etc., etc., etc. I spent several hours yesterday trying to look at insurance options and lost several years off my life. That's good in the long run, as it will save several years of health insurance premiums, right? Lord, this country and health care.
Anyway...I must say, the whole "it takes a village" idea has never been more true with this house concert, or more needed. Friends have stepped up and WAY BEYOND, helping us get ready for this show and truly making it happen. Ernie (who has some minor health issues bothering him at the moment that have slowed him down) and I will be forever grateful, and realize more than ever what an incredible chosen family...a family of friends....we have. We send all of you our love.
I can't wait to see you all tomorrow night. There is nothing more joyous and healing than music, particularly with our beloved Jason Ringenberg, Fats Kaplin and Kristi Rose, and the Taxi Boys. There are still a few spaces left, so just yell if you are interested. The more, the merrier. I hope you can join us....my heart will be full!